Because of you I am such a strong person today. You were the one that brought me to my knees. I was young and jus looking for love and a family. You took me on a long 10 year ride...from the drugs to the women to the beatings...at one point you stopped and were a good husband. I got about a year of that..then you changed your mind. You decided my sister was your soulmate. You turned our home upside down on that day in April. Our kids are forever changed and have such vivid memories of those first few years. I hate that they had to go through that kind of heart wrenching pain. Madison would wake up in the middle of the night screaming "he's not your daddy!" I can't tell you how many times that happened. Ryan was only 13 and his biological father left him and now he felt you left him too. I know you told him you didn't and that you were still his dad but that day you left he stopped calling you dad because to him, you were another one who left. I couldn't move on and get over you because our home was riddled with pain and sorrow...not only did they lose you but now they were told they couldn't call their aunt, "Aunt Missy" any longer. I had a hard time getting over you because our kids couldn't accept all these changes and were crying all the time and rebelling. If you remember I had to put Ryan in counseling...We all slept in my queen size bed for almost the first year..Ryan would lead us in prayer every night and they all prayed the same prayer that God would bring daddy back home..it seemed Ryan was trying to take over as the man of the house, a roll that was much to big for his teenage shoes.
We survived but came out with some battle wounds that are still visible today.
Kim
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