"My Heart Hurts"

Thats what Chaz said to me this morning when I talked to him. Brought tears to my eyes. Hes been with the same girl for 2 years and she broke up with him. I got home from work last night at 9pm and was in bed by 9:30. I just felt like sleeping. alot. So I got up at 1am to go to the restroom and Madi was in there and told me about Chaz. She said he called and was crying and wanted to talk to me but I was asleep. Shit! I never go to sleep that early! So she went to bed and I laid there...awake. I tossed and turned. Finally went downstairs and turned on the computer at 2:30. I went onto his myspace and it said single and his update said, Im lost without her. i just left a message saying i love you. i went to sleep about 5am. I talked to him this morning and he is so heartbroken. I explained to him that they are young and things change, and people change. He said but Im only getting better and now she "wants to live her own life!!" I wish I could take his pain..he is such a loving kid that loves with all he has and doesnt care if he falls and no one is there to catch him. Thats what I love about him. I love at an arms length. All of these things were going thru my mind last night. I thought back when Ryan had his first heartache. He was in highschool. Her name was Erika. She was such a good girl. A sweet girl. We all thought Ryan would break her heart for sure. He was the pretty boy. The popular one. She wasnt. She was cute, straight A's, president of ASB. And she broke Ryans heart in two. He was on the top bunk crying hysterically. I climbed up with him (and thats not easy!!) and just held him all night. We both cried. But you know, I have to say Ryan has loved alot like I do since then. Heartache sucks worse than any pain...with the exception of loosing a child, nothing can compare im sure.
When Arthur left Madison her and I cried for probably a week straight together. And she cried for probably another few months. Art was and is a great kid that absolutely worshipped the ground she walked on. He was her 1st and only boyfriend. I used to tell her that wasnt normal. Most guys are not like him. He would fix her food, feed her, do dishes, rub her feet and the list goes on and on and on. It was almost sickening but very adorable at the same time. He never went one day without telling her she was beautiful. He wore necklaces with her name on it..i could go on and on but you get the picture. It went on for a year and a half. Then one day he stopped. I was so afraid of that day. I knew she would be devistated. and devistated she was. We all were. To see her go thru that pain was so hard for us. He broke her heart wide open. It was real and it was raw. It was so painful to watch. I think its even harder when ur younger because you love quick and pure and the heart is innocent. Young love isnt jaded. So when it goes astray, the pain is almost to much for them to handle. To watch it as a parent is so hard. the thing about Arthur, was Madi and I had to fight for him. EVERYONE was against it. But he was a really nice and respectful kid. and Madi is very mature for her age. So when it went south we paid in more ways than one. So they broke up and a few months later we find out she is 6 months pregnant. Great, more pain. So Art wanted to try to work it out. Madison is hesitant but of course agrees. It lasts a month and hes not the same so she dumps him. through the entire breakup, pregnancy, 2nd breakup, she was so adult like. She refused to be treated like shit. kid or no kid. She deserved better. I love that about her. But Im afraid shes going to be like Ryan and I...just a bit jaded. Back to Chaz. I think Chaz would go back and let her treat him like shit. Honestly, I hope she just moves on and leaves him alone. Talking to him this morning just makes my heart ache. I know that pain. I NEVER want to feel it again. ever. And I wish none of my kids ever have to feel it either..Ryan is going to call him. I told him to remind him of his goals and give him some advice. He will listen to Ryan. It wont ease the pain but its nice to know someone knows how you feel.
After re-reading this it's all over the place...sorry i was just thinking and writing and not thinking about anyone trying to follow me!!